****THIS IS A SATIRE****
What’s up dawgs! Guess what has two thumbs and just got back from Texas? This guy. I HATE Texas. I don’t think you understand, I hate Texas so much I didn’t even campaign there the first time around. My “handlers” told me that I had to go down and give my condolences to the “Blue Lives Matter” movement. What a joke. The only thin blue line they have in Texas is Austin. I gotta admit, I was surprised, though. I thought for sure the speech I gave, where I practically danced on the graves of the officers that died, would have everyone turning their backs on me. Those dumb Texas nationals didn’t even notice. Barack 1, Texas 0, not that I’m keeping score.
I’m just glad that my propaganda machine “Black Lives Matter” is…